he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
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