is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
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i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
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I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
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