We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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