i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
