8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
how drunk are you?
Several
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
