Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I am naked and annoyed.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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