Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
home. puking in laundry basket.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
