I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
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Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
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We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Help. Why am I so naked?
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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