if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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