Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
