Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
