I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
