somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Shame is for Republicans.
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