i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
