shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
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