I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
