I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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