I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Randomize
