Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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