O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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