maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
