why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
