im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Randomize
