i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
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