I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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