this beer tastes like vomit already
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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