Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
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