I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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