We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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