He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
