New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
