Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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