How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Randomize
