I must be too annoying 4 u.
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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