Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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