Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
