You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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