Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
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