Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
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