im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
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oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
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It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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