worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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