Will you blow on my dice?
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
