Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
