I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
