I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
