Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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