quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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