Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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