i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
