dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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