Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
