woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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