dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Randomize
