I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize