Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
