He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize