Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
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