What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
