We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
