i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize