I seem to have left my pride at pride
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
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