I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
