she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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