Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
