Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
His nipple licking is glorious
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