You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
